Five Cannabis Strains to Pair with Ze Bugs

Uh, excuse me? Five cannabis strains to pair with “ze bugs?” What exactly does that mean?

When it comes to food and cannabis, a great pairing can make all the difference. Strains like Mandarin Haze can make your Orange Teriyaki Chicken even more delicious. A Girl Scout Cookie strain goes great with… you guessed it, baked goods.

All cannabis strains have naturally occurring compounds called terpenes. Terpenes help give cannabis its aroma and flavour. They can be sweet, spicy, or citrusy. Terpenes are the reason cannabis tastes good and pairs nicely with food.

But food security in the West is becoming a real problem. Not just for the highly impoverished, but even among the “middle class” where they struggle to keep the lights on, the car’s gas tank filled, the refrigerator full, and the mortgage paid for.

But no fear! 2030 is only eight years away, and our unelected ruling elite of bankers and technocrats have it all figured out for us.

Why the WEF Wants Us Eating Ze Bugs

Klaus Schwab is the founder and chairman of the World Economic Forum and organizer of the Davos Summits. He’s also the author of the book, The Great Reset. Schwab and his followers claim they’re victims of some “far-right” radical conspiracy theory. But it’s all written in Schwab’s book.

Just like Hitler wrote about his goals in Mein Kampf.

And the comparison is not hyperbolic. Schwab and his followers are literal fascists. They reject classical liberal principles like private property, free speech, free markets, and the Greco-Roman & Judeo-Christian concept of the rule of law. 

And they embrace the concept of rule by fiat, mass surveillance and a planned, control-command economy.

Fortunately, more people are waking up to the WEF takeover. Schwab’s got a little cocky. He’s boasted about how he’s “penetrated” governments (his words, not mine), with Justin Trudeau’s government being the obvious example. 

But upcoming and (likely) future leader of the Conservative Party, Pierre Poilievre, has been adamantly against the WEF. Even went as far as saying he won’t allow his sitting MPs to visit Davos. 

Schwab was also the man behind the Sri Lanka government. The one that just fell. 

So Schwab’s plan for a world empire is experiencing some setbacks. But his bug plan is still in place. 

Cannabis Strains to Pair with Ze Bugs 

The food department is one area where Schwab’s plan seems to succeed. Many people think eating meat, particularly red meat, is harmful to the environment. They also think it’s terrible for your health.

Of course, the opposite is true when it comes to trusting the WEF. Red meat is one of the most nutritious foods on the planet. It is factory farming destroying the quality of the meat and causing excessive pollution. Just as mass fields of monocrop vegetables are destroying the soil.

Far from adopting a plant-based diet, the solution is in regenerative farming. But that means giving people complete control of their land and what they do with it. That also means pointing the finger at the real polluters – multinational corporations operating in China and India.

Every factory farm in the country producing corn, soy, and canola as ingredients for our processed disease-causing foods can be replaced by grass. Grass is a carbohydrate we can’t eat, but cows and bison can. Cows and bison convert the inedible carbs into fat and protein, which we thrive on.

We can replace all monocropped farmland with cows and bison. And instead of showcasing a very green, bourgeois front yard with grass, people can use their lawn to grow fruits and vegetables. That is, if they want to. It’s their property.

The point is that eating bugs is ridiculous and gross and won’t save the planet. There are a thousand other options before we accept that “Insect farming is set to play a growing role in our lives — especially in our diets.”

Disbanding the WEF and putting people like Schwab on trial for crimes against humanity will do better for our future than eating bugs.

That said, it’s always good to have a contingency plan. If you’re like me and stuck in a Schwab-controlled country because you don’t have the correct papers to leave, then perhaps it’s best to eat some humble pie and start thinking about the future.

Oh, did I say humble pie? I met Housefly Pudding.

So, without further ado, here are the best five cannabis strains for pairing with bugs, or as Schwab would say, “ze bugs.” 

Cannabis Strain #1: Blue Dream 

The WEF says that insects are “rich in protein, healthy fats, and vitamins, and can be farmed at scale with minimal footprint.” The only problem is that they’re insects.

So if you’re stuck in a Schwab-controlled hell and red meat’s been taken off the menu, we recommend Blue Dream. 

Blue Dream is a hybrid strain that doesn’t impair your functionality and offers an excellent appetite boost. After a few minutes with Blue Dream, you’ll soon feel the rumblings in your stomach for food. Enough Blue Dream, and you won’t mind the crunch of a grasshopper.

Strain #2: Critical Mass

Critical mass is an indica, so it’s great for sleep and appetite. It makes the list for its piney and earthy taste. This strain is excellent for those who want the whole bug-eating experience. If you don’t mind the crunch of a beetle or the texture of a moth, this earthy strain will complement your dirt food.

Strain #3: Lavender

Lavender is one of those lovely-looking strains, with purple, green, and orange. Kinda like some insects. Anyway, Lavender is often used to treat gastrointestinal issues. It’s excellent for hunger and digestion and won’t knock you out like another indica strain. Pair it with maggot soup today!

Cannabis Strain #4: Girl Scout Cookies (GSC)

This strain for popular for a reason. It’s tasty, potent, powerful, and did I mention delicious? A GSC strain will take away whatever gross bug aftertaste you have from following the WEF’s mandates. I can’t say the same for your memories of the experience, but if you smoke enough of it…

Cannabis Strain #5: Giga Bud 

Giga Bud is another indica-heavy strain that’s good for the GI system. Medical cannabis patients like this strain because it’s ideal for reducing nausea. This makes this cannabis strain excellent for pairing with ze bugs since eating bugs is gross and likely to cause one to vomit. Pairing your cockroach salad with a giant joint of Giga Bud should cut back on nausea.

Final Thoughts

Five strains that hopefully no one ever has to use to eat bugs… Unless that’s your favourite food. But the great thing about freedom and liberty is that you can do you, and I can do me. 

Enjoy your bugs if you prefer, and I’ll continue eating grass-fed red meat.

As for Klaus Schwab and the WEF – they can go to hell. Because it’s not just eating bugs and owning no possessions, they want us to drink sewage water as well.

And you don’t have to buy the “far-right conspiracy” angle. Let’s pretend that Schwab has nothing but love in his heart. That the fools at WEF are well-intentioned and only want the best for humanity.

Even if that were the case (and the evidence doesn’t support it), there’s still a knowledge problem. Nobel Prize-winning economist F.A. Hayek wrote, “The curious task of economics is to demonstrate to men how little they really know about what they imagine they can design.”

It’s about time the World Economic Forum learn some actual economics.