Jewlz and Ashtree’s Total Eclipse Journey

Saturday, August 19th, 2017:

Here we are again. Going for another adventure…  I couldn’t be more excited and Ash is vibrating with joy. This whole idea is her brain child and to be honest, it makes me proud to have her as a friend.

Many people in this world would hear about a solar event and not feel a physical guttural pull, forcing them to go in the path of it; I found one of the few people that does! Bonus, she likes my company enough to chill in a small space with for long stretches! So, She gets a funky spontaneous idea, I jump on board, we stay happy and we make them happen together…

We are off for a road trip to see a total solar eclipse in Salem, Oregon. We have to get there by 10:18am on Monday, Aug. 21, 2017 because the sun waits for no one.

A Bold Plan

Very Important – Sleep in very late on Sunday morning to preserve precious energy 

– Cram into the Prius, get on the mainland in the afternoon to have a serious session with our friends at Terp Fire Extracts

Start driving at 11pm (HIGHLY STRATEGIC, GALLANT AND BRILLIANT): The amount of traffic that is forecasted for where we are heading literally scared Donald Trump into calling the National Guard! President Donny opening the US Federal Wallet for this is enough for us to take notice…

(AP Photo/Andrew Harnik)

– Drive all night in shifts till meeting up with our Delta 9 friends at their friend’s property in Salem, OR. The drive is approximately 6 hours…

– Pitch our tent and have a decent nap! Wake up in time for a leisurely java, joint, and a solar eclipse and eventually stroll our way back up to Canada…

Shenanigans… Every. Single. Time.

Sunday, August 20:

The shenanigans were mine; no need for details… Three sailing waits later, we got to our friends at Terp Fire Extracts around 10:30pm. Knowing we were heading into the States, we arrived without bringing anything to smoke; they had dinner waiting and set out a help yourself banquet of dabs.

This painting reminds me of our Terp Fire Eclipse Banquet.

Tendrils of Congo, Charlotte’s Web and Cheese dabs perfumed the air as we discussed cannabis and the fundamentals of twerking… Ah Terp Fire… such lovely people.

Sunday – Monday Night:

Its kinda late and the border has one lane but, I believe in the plan and the feeling in my gut that it will be fine. The border is packed and the people are weird and on edge. It is as if no one in the car lineup ever had a conversation about behavior at borders or the importance of patience.

We are 4 car lengths from crossing into the USA; then, the 2 cars behind us get in an accident, missing our bumper by 8 inches at most!

Talking this out is not going well for the people involved; we are seconds away from witnessing a bare knuckle fist fight, right beside our car at the Canada/US border. You know the kind of yelling people do when they are so mad that spit is flying unnoticed out their mouth? They were beyond that point. 

Anxiously, we watch the border police coming charging straight towards us. The moment they passed the back bumper, we gratefully drove up to the window… Neither of us daring to look back.

Monday, August 21st – 8am (2h 18m till Eclipse):

Every little place we stopped at looked at us like lunatics when we said we were gonna get to Salem in time; they all showed fear when uttering the curse word: traffic.  We braced ourselves for a storm that never came (1 hour of traffic at the most). There is never a dull moment and that bumper to bumper hour was no exception. The highlights included strangers on overpasses with creepy yet creative signs and freeway traffic updates such as:  no stopping for eclipse. Almost there…

9:20am (58m till Eclipse): Worst question ever: Have you heard back from our buddies? We are almost at the address but no word… I tell Ashley to just go for it; we will show up and see if they are there…

9:30am (48m till Eclipse): They are definitely not having a party where we show up. Thank god we are polite because considering the wildlife in Oregon, I imagine gun laws are not strict. We have no goggles or “official place” to scope the sun but, we have our spirits, a hybrid car and google maps… more than enough.

9:46am (32m till Eclipse): Have you ever been to a giant Walmart that is almost completely empty and quiet because everyone is standing in the parking lot, tilting their heads at the same angle wearing dark glasses? It is a pretty surreal feeling; natural performance art.

9:47am (31m till Eclipse): Tinfoil and pizza box? Nope. Ash buys a giant poster board and marker, writes an eye catching sign trying to buy glasses. Not kidding at all; that is what she did. She walks through the eclipse zombies holding this huge sign, full of pzazz, big smile and it works in under 5 minutes. (Bonus: there was enough time to find a choice spot away from Walmart apocalypse ground zero)

10:12am (6 minutes till the fiery finger nail in the sky disappears): Several people in Salem chose sitting on concrete curbs out front of businesses for this life changing event; but, my father always told me, if you sit on concrete, you are going to get hemorrhoids. The clock is ticking and across the street, I point out a nice plot of green space by a fenced field. Looks good to us: blanket stretched, goggles on…

The Eclipse

It was moving and if you can, go out of your way to see a total solar eclipse. In less than two minutes, all the problems, big and small, of every single being on this planet were irrevocably put in perspective for me. The temperature dropped 16 degrees in that minute and a half.

I didn’t see what I expected to see. The sun’s rays do not shine outwardly like the iris of an eye, they wobble unevenly. Seeing the shape of the sun’s corona for myself, with my own eyes, has changed me forever and I will never forget it.

After The Eclipse:

The keys are gone. They are nowhere. The black hole in the sky swallowed them…

… to be continued… (…got home 2 days late)