Yes, they still exist. In 2017, with cannabis on the verge of legalization and dispensaries adding beautiful greenery to our cities, I am amazed to announce that personal pot dealers are not yet extinct. In fact, I found one!

It turns out that my old dealer Pat is still in the game. Highly amused and extremely curious, I had some questions for him about how his business has changed. Kindly, he obliged…

 

How long have you been slanging weed?

On and off since high school, so the last 20 years. I used to sell joints 3 for $10 in the parking lot in high school, people knew where I would come to meet them and I could see the crowd coming at me. I took a break for a while but it’s been pretty regular the last 3 years.

 

How much do you sell, volume wise?

About 1.5 lbs per week. I have one strain of indica flower and one of sativa.

 

I was wondering about that. Have you found that your customers have gotten snooty and snobbish about the strains you have available, now that they are used to having access to so much variety?

No, my customers know I am consistent and they like that. They can go to a place with 50 different kinds of weed on the wall but that wall is always changing. I only really rotate between a few different strains. Plus, I like to keep my customers happy. If they are looking for something specific, I try to help them out and if I can find it, I can usually maintain that supply.

 

Have you noticed any kind of decline in your sales since dispensaries went mainstream?

No. Actually, I would say it’s increased. Most of the people who come and see me buy larger amounts. If they want a joint, an eighth or something, they usually will just go to a dispensary. I tend to sell more weed now, seeing fewer people.

 

Let’s talk about that. Who comes to see you? Why do you think they come to you instead of a dispensary or licensed producer?

I tend to supply my friends and their friends of friends… all my business is word of mouth. One of my coworkers will come and see me, next his cousin is calling me…eventually, his uncle and dad start to buy weed off me.

Why do they come to me and not a dispensary? Simple. Dispensaries are too expensive. I’m way cheaper. The average stoner can easily smoke an ounce in a week and if it’s a stoner couple, you can double that amount at a minimum. Remember me and my ex-girlfriend?

(I’m nodding, thinking immediately of his human weed chimney days when he dated this girl who only breathed pot smoke…)

We once smoked a quarter pound in a week together; I am not even exaggerating.

(I have no doubt he is telling me facts.)

 

Do you ever worry about getting busted by the police?

Nope, I think they have bigger fish to fry. The only time I really worry about getting busted is when I am transporting bud that I just bought.

 

Why don’t you get your ACMPR so that you have a license to carry?

I never thought about that. Good idea. I think I am going to do that. Thanks.

 

Why do you bother selling weed in this day and age? Is this really worth it to you financially, with all that competition out there?

On a busy night, I am only really seeing 2-3 people and I know all of them so really, it’s no hassle. Plus, this is how I supplement my habit. I mean I make some money off this but instead of spending my paychecks on weed, I sell some and smoke as much as I would like.

 

Just curious, how much is that by the way? Your habit I mean… How much do you smoke?

I only really blaze at night, never in the day before work. I get home around 7 and smoke about 8 or so doobies before I’m in bed… about a quarter ounce a night. It helps me relax and sleep.

 

Pat provides a service for people and the fact that his business is still thriving underground is a true testament to the fact that cannabis is here to stay. If the new regulations, licensed producers and/or dispensaries don’t make cannabis reasonably accessible, people like Pat will be there to fill in the gaps… he even sells pot gummies.